I knew I’d be going into this crazy adventure alone. Not that I’d planned it that way, from the start, but things happen and people change once reality sets in. I was all alone in the birthing suite, the only one to welcome and celebrate my sweet baby’s first milestones!
I survived the sleepless nights, learned how to do everything with one hand, interviewed a whole slew of nannies, and even managed to keep my job – even though I smelled like spit-up and anxiety sweat for the first six months back at work, had forgotten how to walk in heels, and accidentally used baby talk to soothe one of my clients while she was having an epic meltdown.
We both made it, though, through our first year together! No worse for wear, really, and my dd (darling daughter) and I are on a well managed routine of eating and sleeping, finally!
So, once the chaos had subsided, and I got her sleeping through the night and in her own room, my bed started to feel incredibly big and empty. I had time to notice how there was no one else in the room to observe and share in all those special big girl accomplishments.
There was no one to come up behind me and rub my shoulders and tell me how amazing I am. That’s when it dawned on me, a few months after her first birthday – that I was going to always be doing this alone, if I didn’t do something to change it.
I didn’t have the extra money to invest in online dating profiles. Nor did I have the spare time to go out and meet people. What did I have? I had a phone! I’d heard about chat lines and phone dating decades ago, and wondered if they were still around or not.
I figured, I absolutely need to get to know someone really well before I bring them into my child’s life. The only way I could do that was by talking, but I’d have to do that from the comfort of my own home, but before that, I’d first have to find someone to even start communicating.
Sure enough, phone dating is still a real thing! I’ve really been enjoying myself – after bedtime rituals, of course – flirting with different people and feeling that old spark of “me” again! I’m even planning a date night!
I feel like a new woman, a better version of the old me, like I’m a real woman who can call the shots in her life, and I get to be the one who can walk away when it just doesn’t feel right. Because there are thousands of singles out there, and I get to pick which one I’ll bring home!
